Worst Movies Ever Made

[Felinoid]

This may revive an old thread, but it's fun anyhow.

I don't mean the teen sex comedies and the made-for TV stuff from Sci-Fi- I mean REAL movies that turned out to suck

A ground rule-let's exclude movies like Top Gun, Iron Eagle, Pearl Harbor, etc.; this has been done here extensively.

I'll start, of course.

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory-the original with Gene Wilder was no classic, but it's genius compared to this flick. I was dragged kicking and screaming to it and I still have nightmares. One question-director Tim Burton made Johnny Depp look, act and sound like Micheal Jackson, why not have just cast MJ????

The Shining-this'll start people up. Jack Nicholson is a great actor and actually puts in a good performance, but he's just....JACK! No suspense, no surprises, it's just a Jack film. BTW, I actually preferred the ABC remake w/Steven Weber and Rebecca DeMornay

Godzilla (1998-American version)-Matthew Broderick smirks his way through this, and how does a 200-foot long lizard hide in the subway of NYC? Plus, he doesn't fight the military, he runs from them, inadvertadly causing havoc, not deliberatly. Plus the Colonel's cap is at least two sizes too small.

Any Police Academy movie after the first one-I liked the first one but the rest-ugh; but because of my wife's family I've seen them all at least 5 times. # 4 had Sharon Stone, at least.

History Of The World, Part 1-again, thanks to my wife's family, I have seen this a dozen times, it gets worse every time. BUT-even I admit the Spanish Inquisition as a Busby Berkley musical number is inspired!

I may come up with more.

Please remember-these are people's opinions!!! Not an absolute. Please respect their opinions, no name-calling please.

Felinoid

[mlicari]

I've had to suffer through the movies that Kevin Costner directed (Dances with Wolves, Waterworld, The Postman). Man, talk about snoozefests. The only reason Dances with Wolves was popular was because people thought they were supposed to like it.

I also fell fast asleep in the theater during Chicago. My wife had to wake me up when it was over.

Mike

[Antonov]

Depends on what you mean by "bad".

If you enjoy a "so bad it's good" movie, is it really "bad"? Can something be "bad" if you genuinely enjoy watching it?

Anyhow, the worst movie ever made is widely regarded by consensus to have been either the truly-horrendous "Troll 2" or the incomprehensible "Manos: The Hands Of Fate".

The most inept movie ever made was probably Tommy Wiseau's tour-de-force "The Room". And yet, I love this movie, and probably watch it once every couple weeks or so.

All three of these movies, by the way, have been taken on by Mystery Science Theater 3000 or RiffTrax.

[richter111]

Alien Resurrection

Seriously, Winona Ryder?

Half Alien Ripley?

[Kalashnikov-47]

Godzilla (1998-American version)-Matthew Broderick smirks his way through this, and how does a 200-foot long lizard hide in the subway of NYC? Plus, he doesn't fight the military, he runs from them, inadvertadly causing havoc, not deliberatly. Plus the Colonel's cap is at least two sizes too small.

I read somewhere that the director of the original Japanese films walked out of a screening of this movie.

[CreepyGuy]

Alien Resurrection

Seriously, Winona Ryder?

Half Alien Ripley?

Yeah... That one is real bad...

[Vpanoptes]

Anything with Gilbert Gottfreid (?) in it. He is the kind of person you wouldn't want to be stranded in a lifeboat with, and if you were you'd eat him before the food ran out.

[mlicari]

He is the kind of person you wouldn't want to be stranded in a lifeboat with, and if you were you'd eat him before the food ran out.

[Steve N]

I'll probably take be pelted with rotten vegetables for this, but I've always thought "Return of the Jedi" was just awful. A craptacular cartoon compared to the mature and sophisticated "Empire Strikes Back." I've been reading an e-book called "The Secret History of Star Wars," and it confirms what I've always thought..contrary to Lucas' claims that he had the entire saga mapped out before the first movie was made, he actually made most of it up as he went along, altering the backstories of the characters and history of the Star Wars universe to fit the latest movie. A lot of the ridiculous and recycled plot elements (and horrendous writing) in Jedi were because he just wanted to wrap the trilogy up as quickly and cheaply as possible so he could focus on building Skywalker Ranch.

SN

[VIPER0177]

I will say that Into the sun is the worst movie ever. It sucks so hard it almost makes Iron Eagle look good.

[HWR MKII]

Pendragon Studios version of The War of the Worlds. Sure its straight from the book...that include all the walking and walking and walking. Also the acting was ungodly awful, effects looked like they were done on an old Atari. seriously even if you get this one for free its not worth watching.

[Hoops]

I'll probably take be pelted with rotten vegetables for this, but I've always thought "Return of the Jedi" was just awful. A craptacular cartoon compared to the mature and sophisticated "Empire Strikes Back." I've been reading an e-book called "The Secret History of Star Wars," and it confirms what I've always thought..contrary to Lucas' claims that he had the entire saga mapped out before the first movie was made, he actually made most of it up as he went along, altering the backstories of the characters and history of the Star Wars universe to fit the latest movie. A lot of the ridiculous and recycled plot elements (and horrendous writing) in Jedi were because he just wanted to wrap the trilogy up as quickly and cheaply as possible so he could focus on building Skywalker Ranch.

SN

I can remember reading that one of the co-producers/writers or something like that, who had had a huge influence on Star Wars and the Empire strikes back, was given the boot before Return of the Jedi. As a result RotJ was the first all Lucas film of the series. Read into that what you will.

Cheers,

-Hoops

[tarlucan]

Oh this is easy - Travolta's "Battlefield Earth".

[Steve N]

Oh this is easy - Travolta's "Battlefield Earth".

Crap..there goes several years of therapy. Either the movie was vastly worse than the book, or Scientologists have extremely low standards in religious gurus.

SN

[Cloggy]

I haven't seen a lot of the ones mentioned above, probably because they seemed to be too bad to want to make the effort for. However, here are some of my worst ever movies:

Pearl Harbour

The Return of the King (last hour....yaaaawwwwnnnn!)

Norbit...in fact just about any Eddie Murphy ego-fest apart from the Klumps ones.

[Kevan Vogler]

A thoroughly incomprehensible film starring Stacy Keach called "The Ninth Configuration" is pretty high on my list.

I have never once had the patience or fortitude to completely sit through "2001 A Space Odysey"

No matter how hard I try, I just keep thinking it has to be one of the most over appreciated and over rated films in the Sci Fi genre that ever tried to be serious. Beyond some cool ship designs, it was simply an excercise in tenacity to sit through it without slipping into a coma.

"Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome"

I enjoyed the original "Mad Max" film, it had a proper gritty feel for the theme and wasn't pretentious at all.

"The Road Warrior" was really enjoyable, especially if you can find it without the American accent voice dubbing.

"Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome" was dire in every way. It was an unrequired addition just because Hollywood was finally interested in it. All the grit of the first two had been replaced with flash and pretentiousness.

"Braveheart"

This is, in my view, a prime exemplar of Hollywood's propensity for butchering and bastardizing historical events to make them into film. The real events and people had such scope and potential for a great film without anyone taking much "artistic license" with them. However, we ended up with an epic gore fest, a false image and representation of William Wallace and what the Scots were like at the time he lived; he was a knight for God's sake! Not some Celtic chieftain with war paint on his face (which, incidentally, was representative of a time period about three centuries before he lived). Then the whole matter of him having an affair with the French princess?! Please! She was nine years old when he was executed and they NEVER even met each other.

"Kingdom of Heaven"

Mostly on par, though in a couple of ways even worse, than "Braveheart" in the department of prostituting history for the sake of entertainment. This one was so over the top in taking "artistic license" that, if you know anything about how the events actually played out and the players at the time, you'll know that this film is a near complete rewrite of historical events and characters. To drive that point home, there actually was no need to have Liam Neeson in the film at all as there was absolutely no historical counterpart for his character!

[Laurent]

I've actually seen Pocket Ninjas which is ranked #6 on the Bottom 100 from IMDB. No words can express how pathetic this thing is. Watching it is as painful as having a tooth removed.

An awful but hilarious movie is Dünyayi kurtaran adam aka Turkish Star Wars. Linky.

[Jonathan Mock]

"Braveheart"

This is, in my view, a prime exemplar of Hollywood's propensity for butchering and bastardizing historical events to make them into film. The real events and people had such scope and potential for a great film without anyone taking much "artistic license" with them. However, we ended up with an epic gore fest, a false image and representation of William Wallace and what the Scots were like at the time he lived; he was a knight for God's sake! Not some Celtic chieftain with war paint on his face (which, incidentally, was representative of a time period about three centuries before he lived). Then the whole matter of him having an affair with the French princess?! Please! She was nine years old when he was executed and they NEVER even met each other.

I see your "Braveheart" and I raise you with...

"The Patriot".

Where to start with this movie? Its essentially a remake of "Braveheart" just transposed to the War of Independence with the same pantomime plot elements - Mel Gibson, check. Evil sadistic English, check. Supposed atrocities that are total bunk, check.

German director Emmerich manages the feat of taking an episode of his own nation's history - the SS herding the residents of Oradour, France, into a church and then burning them alive - and presenting it as something the British did in the WoI. Let's be honest here, historically Britain has more than enough of its own dark little moments to start taking the rap for something the Nazis did!

And what's with the accents? There's a school of thought that the American accent only really started to evolve in the 19th century with the arrival of more and more immigrants, in the 1700s everyone may have probably still been speaking with (a variety of) English accents because they were British settlers - think of the WoI as a British civil war, just fought on the other side of the Atlantic.

"The Green Berets"

Now I love a good war movie, I love 'em even if they might be merde totale but at least entertaining, but "TGB"... its not a good war movie, or even just movie, nor entertaining.

It feels like one of those "up and at 'em boys" movies from WWII, possibility because it was made in the same context, to galvanise public support for the Vietnam War in the face of growing unease. A noble aim, but this was the 1960s not the 1940s, TV had come along in the meantime and the reality of war was being played out in people's living rooms rather than cheery cinematic newsreels and newspapers. But worse, the film is just a complete stinker, its scans like a war movie written by 8 years olds playing in the garden, it has about as much depth and logic, the only thing missing is people coming back to life and swapping sides ("Ok, we're be the Vietcong now and you can be the Americans"), at the end of the movie I keep expecting the off screen voice of John Wayne's mother to call him in for dinner and Wayne to bawl "aaaaaw mom, just five more minutes!".

Better films would come along about Vietnam, and in portraying the ambiguity and misery (of the) war, would pay a far higher tribute to those who fought it.

"Close Encoutners of the Third Kind"

Don't make me angry...

Edited April 30, 2010 by Jonathan Mock

[tornado64]

casino royale , ( not the david niven one ) the new one yawnsville , fell asleep !!

the next one was moderately better

no wonder filming of the next is suspended indeffinately

the cold war is over move on !!

bond was a cold war charachter that no longer works !!

as good as it was at the time !!

[Andre]

Crap..there goes several years of therapy. Either the movie was vastly worse than the book, or Scientologists have extremely low standards in religious gurus.

Or both.

Let's see - the worst movie (and I go by Eberts maxim "thou shalt not bore me") I've seen recently was either "Unearthed" (in which, most likely, the money ran out halfway the production, so even the substandard crappy CGI alien-ripoff monster was almost invisible in an almost totally dark last half hour of the movie) or "Feat Itself" aka "Ring Around The Rosie" (it's never a good sign if a movie is known under two titles, folks...), in which a totally transparant semi-psychobabble plot takes about an hour and a half to be explained... and explained... and explained... and explained... right um until a toally "wft" / "ygbsm" ending.

Cheers,

Andre

[Big Kev]

Here's my list:

- the most recent X-Files film (I've even managed to purge its subtitle from my mind...);

- Rambo (2008);

- Hiroshima Mon Amour;

- anything featuring Jar Jar Binks.

Kev

[Jonathan Mock]

- the most recent X-Files film (I've even managed to purge its subtitle from my mind...);

Yeah that was terrible, would have been a shash TV ep.

"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"

Oh Steven, George, why? Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy!!!

So much for Speilberg saying that they would go back to old fashioned stunts, the amount of CG in this film was mind numbing and, surprisingly given that it was ILM at the helm, it just looked so hokey all the time.

I don't know which was worse, the fridge sequence or them riding the waterfalls in the car. And the ending... oh jeez, is that the best anyone could have come up with?

"South Park" were right - I sat there and I did nothing.

[Raymond]

troll 2.

rent and enjoy

* maby tokyo gore police as my epic W.T.F! second!

Edited April 30, 2010 by Raymond

[NWSmith]

Depends on what you mean by "bad".

If you enjoy a "so bad it's good" movie, is it really "bad"? Can something be "bad" if you genuinely enjoy watching it?

Anyhow, the worst movie ever made is widely regarded by consensus to have been either the truly-horrendous "Troll 2" or the incomprehensible "Manos: The Hands Of Fate".

The most inept movie ever made was probably Tommy Wiseau's tour-de-force "The Room". And yet, I love this movie, and probably watch it once every couple weeks or so.

All three of these movies, by the way, have been taken on by Mystery Science Theater 3000 or RiffTrax.

I honestly think that Coleman Francis' incomprehensible Red Zone Cuba (aka Night Train To Mundo Fine) is worse than Manos. At least Manos has the odd charm of Torgo and The Master to lighten things up, whereas every single character in Francis' schlock is utterly loathsome. It's at #1 on the bottom 100 of IMDB for a reason!

Of note as well is that Coleman's other awful creation The Skydivers sits merrily at 5th on the all time worst chart.

[PhantomPhreakII]

If I were stranded on an island with him, I'd become a kannibal....

Harald

jummy