midnightprowler Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 We learned all this at home: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My father taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident." 7. My father taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll really give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times: Don't exaggerate!" 13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..." 14.. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it from your father when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE . "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My father taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand. 25. My father taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HOLMES Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 WISE patents indeed.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GreyGhost Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Sounds about right ... -Gregg Quote Link to post Share on other sites
midnightprowler Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 :tumble:/> You don't get it? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jinxter13 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 :rofl: As a kid,Been there seen/heard that...as a Parent was there did that. I've seen it from both sides ;) . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rm20886 Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Those all bring back some childhood memories. :lol: As a parent I have un-controllably blurted out a few of those to my kids. Worst part was, I could never keep a straight face! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ace Combat Zero Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 That is like my parents, except there is more cursing and ghettoness involved. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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