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Toronto Maple Laffs


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OK, I can't help myself. I just read a newspaper column that had a bunch of great Maple Leafs jokes, and I had to share. Coming right up!

(full disclosure): I am a Habs fan, but the Leafs are now so pathetic that I sometimes cheer for them out of pity.

What do a recent high-school dropout and the Maple Leafs have in common?

wait for it...

They're both young, have no goals, and no prospects.

Next one:

What do the Leafs and a fine wine have in common?

They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much, and are only enjoyed on select occasions.

ALF

I can't claim responsibility for these jokes. They came from Pat Hickey, of the Montreal Gazette. More in subsequent posts!

Edited by ALF18
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What's the difference between an Air Canada Centre hotdog and a Bell Centre hotdog?

You can buy a Bell Centre hotdog in May.

What do the Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

They both look great until they hit the ice.

Why is the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto?

So Leafs fans can see the Stanley Cup.

What's the difference between frequent flyers and the Maple Leafs?

Frequent flyers earn points.

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Possums have in common?

Both play dead at home, and get killed on the road.

Why do the Leafs have trouble maintaining a web site?

They can't string three Ws together.

And, that's it!

Closing with an original from several years back, when it was true:

What's blue and white, and lives in the basement?

Toronto's Leafs, Blue Jays, and Argonauts.

ALF

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Love it!

Time was they were the Makeme Laffs out of derision, it's been so long, it's the Makeme Laffs out of pity.

I'm a Habs fan, too, but I really hope the Leafs manage to become a good team again some time during my lifetime - it sucks having a rival who sucks!

(PS: 1993 should've been a Habs-Leafs final - curse you, Fraser!)

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Problem is the richest team in the NHL sells out the Hanger every night the Leafs play or don't play as is the case right now ...... Ballard's legacy lives on.

This is a great place for the has beens to come and play a couple of more years before the realization kicks in that they just don't have it anymore and should retire. When they do acquire a good player..... that's it they don't acquire support because it costs. So the Teams hopes are always on one good players shoulders.

And yeah I'm a Leaf Fan have been and always will be.... pretty lonely place this band wagon.

BTW..... Where I work I see the cup more often in a year than your average Habs Fan ever will in a lifetime........travels through here quite often. Mind you winning it.....I'm not holding my breath.

LMAO

Emil

Edited by Emvar
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Emil

You know I'll always like you - taste in hockey teams notwithstanding!

You may recognize this editorial cartoon. It appeared right after the recent game where folks threw their authentic game jerseys onto the ice after a particularly bad performance.

leafs%20zamboni_zpsja2awhlu.jpg

Saw these two on Facebook:

leafs%20free%20beer_zpspwxgbyvw.jpg

maple%20leafs%20police_zps9cpzfnzy.jpg

ALF

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ALF,

I have broad shoulders....can take it as well as dish it.... In this case Take. Sometimes you just have to take a stand, One day..... probably a year after I'm laid to rest I shall turn over. LMAO

And it will be a Habs vs Leafs game down 4 zip 10 seconds left.....oh sorry deja vu Boston.

:rolleyes:

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Well there was a very bad rumour that Dion Phaneuf was being traded to Edmonton. Holy crap I sure hope that is joke. We are just now showing some sort of life even though we are no where a playoff contender and we don't need Dion. Should be interesting times in the next two weeks.

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Good ones ALF. Thanks for sharing. As an anti-Leafs fan, I appreciate these jokes. As a Sens fan dealing with a not so great team these last couple of years, I can relate to the misery the Leafs fans are experiencing. We just haven't experienced it as long as they have. Bazinga!

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One day.....they will win again. Hopefully the cup too. I was too young to remember the last time. Hopefully I will not be to old to remember the next.

DSC_0720.jpg

There is a Detroit jersey in the future and a Moscow Dynamo on the other wall.

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Meh, the Leafs are too easy to pick on. No sport there whatsoever (no pun intended although it fits). Lets be honest folks...its been what...22 or so years since a Canadian team last won a Stanley Cup. So basically all fans of any of the Canadian NHL hockey teams are either mired in an excruciatingly long drought (the Leafs) or living in the past (generally Habs fans). Anyone 22 years of age or younger who is a fan of a Canadian NHL team has never lived in a World where a Canadian team has won the Cup. By all means lock onto the Leafs and blaze away. But then again no other Canadian team has brought Lord Stanley's Cup north of the border in over two decades either. Its winning the Cup that matters in the end and Canadian teams haven't been doing much of that.

:cheers:

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Lots and lots of Canadian players keeping the cup south of the border. ON BOTH SIDES.

Lots of VERY good Canadian players playing IN Canada with Canadian teams too ;) (and they have been for the last 22 years). Bottom line, the Cup is "still south of the border". Be that as it may, my point being the Leafs are indeed laughable...but...but...22 years is still 22 years regardless of if its the Leafs, Habs, Oilers, Flames etc etc. Personally I really don't think any fan of any of the Canadian teams should be pointing the finger at the other Canadian teams until their team actually brings home the hardware. And that hasn't been happening.

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Lots of VERY good Canadian players playing IN Canada with Canadian teams too ;)/> (and they have been for the last 22 years). Bottom line, the Cup is "still south of the border". Be that as it may, my point being the Leafs are indeed laughable...but...but...22 years is still 22 years regardless of if its the Leafs, Habs, Oilers, Flames etc etc. Personally I really don't think any fan of any of the Canadian teams should be pointing the finger at the other Canadian teams until their team actually brings home the hardware. And that hasn't been happening.

It is the sacred duty of every non-Southern Ontarian to ridicule the Leafs. :)

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It is the sacred duty of every non-Southern Ontarian to ridicule the Leafs. :)/>/>

By all means have at it :) . But no other Canadian (Canadien... :coolio:) team has done any better bringing Lord Stanley's Cup back north of the border for 22 years...TWENTY TWO YEARS ;) .

Edited by Don
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By all means have at it :)/> . But no other Canadian (Canadien... :coolio:/>) team has done any better bringing Lord Stanley's Cup back north of the border for 22 years...TWENTY TWO YEARS ;)/> .

Yes, I'm quite aware that I was 17 the last time the Habs (or any Canadian team) won the Cup. Good thing I'm turning 17 again this year. ;)

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Yes, I'm quite aware that I was 17 the last time the Habs (or any Canadian team) won the Cup. Good thing I'm turning 17 again this year. ;)/>

I wouldn't hold my breath just yet...who knows...might be the Flames year after all :P

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I have my faith in Jesus Price.

:lol:...o.k.

carey-price-love-300x224.jpg

Come on...you have to admit that's funny and reads pretty close to the Mtl media. :P

Edited by Don
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Objectively? Yeah, I agree. The Montreal media are kinda ridiculous. But for my part? I was happy and thought they did the right thing trading Halak and keeping Price, and I still think so. We'll see how the rest of the season goes, though!

One thing is for sure, though: 25 before 14!

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