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A Warning to Moai Vincent


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No book cracking necessary. Square root of -1 is imaginary and is represented by the letter "i".

THERE IS NO "I" IN KUMQUAT.

You try explaining 647 sammiches and 5,000 Tastykakes on your card. Also, the shipping costs to Rapa Nui are outrageous.

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

...never tried tastykakes though...anything like a honey bun?

BUTTERSCOTCH KRIMPETS ARE DA BOMB.

MOAI VINCENT HAS SPOKEN.

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Will a 2,000 pounder work for you?

Just don't put it on Waco's credit card.....He'll never explain that one and could put him on some watch list somewhere........

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According to the commutative law of algebra, if Tastykake = bomb, then bomb = Tastykake. How big of a Tastykake do want? Will a 2,000 pounder work for you?

That's some heavy math there. If it's cream filled we're talking 1000 lbs. of pastry crème. Talk about a sugar high!! All I know fur sure is 5/4 of all people have trouble with fractions.

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Doing the research a 2000 lb. Butterscotch Krimpet has 3.82 Mega-Calories and the Honey Bun a little more at 3.95 MC's. Both would qualify as Pastries of Mass Consumption or PMC's for short. Think Cov would need to develop a safe delivery system.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Just got notice I'm being audited by the IRS. "That seems odd," I thought, since my tax return has already been accepted.

The notice states they need justification and verification of my additional adult dependent, "Moai Vincent, M, 785 years of age."

What the hell?

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You need to quickly present them with an offer that can't refuse...Forget their present line of inquiry or "Mr. Vincent" will have to bring forward his claim for 720 years of unpaid senior's benefits...Yeah that's the answer....

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Just got notice I'm being audited by the IRS. "That seems odd," I thought, since my tax return has already been accepted.

The notice states they need justification and verification of my additional adult dependent, "Moai Vincent, M, 785 years of age."

What the hell?

The annual cost of bird dropping removal should be deductible. Did you keep the receipts?

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Back-up plan B: Tax exempt status for a religious organization since somebody (clearly not you) worships him.....

Edited by RCAFFAN
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Is that his running mate?

MV For President 2016?? How about a Head made of Rock and Stone, with divine judgment and wisdom? Instead, we will probably get someone made of poor judgment, no wisdom, and rocks in their head....

LOL!!

-Worthless Peasant

taxiwtfery-3.jpg

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Yeah, really petty. 47 cents Canadian.

So now this is the part where we somehow make a giant profit through arbitrage? Recently, I explained to a friend that I won a complete Monogram 1/48 DC-3 kit on Ebay for a few bucks (including shipping), and he immediately suggested I re-list it, because I would make money through "arbitrage."

I don't know what that word means, but it seems to be the way people make money these days. Is it like Alchemy? Or maybe freelance barbering?

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So now this is the part where we somehow make a giant profit through arbitrage?

It's gotta be a better money maker than our road side personal spa. Cuz that thing ain't making any money.

2z9Ob.jpg

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We should sell ordinary things, but put "tactical" in the title. In the U.S., this seems to be a license to add $50.00 USD to the price tag. "Cargo pants" become worth twice as much when called "tactical pants." Camping equipment, lawn care implements, and various hardware store tools acquire elite value when called "tactical gear."

I'd like to see how far we can stretch this. Tactical pizza? Tactical car insurance? Perhaps tactical dishwashing detergent. Add military stenciling and a bunch of stars in the advertisement, and we're all set.

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We should sell ordinary things, but put "tactical" in the title. In the U.S., this seems to be a license to add $50.00 USD to the price tag. "Cargo pants" become worth twice as much when called "tactical pants." Camping equipment, lawn care implements, and various hardware store tools acquire elite value when called "tactical gear."

I'd like to see how far we can stretch this. Tactical pizza? Tactical car insurance? Perhaps tactical dishwashing detergent. Add military stenciling and a bunch of stars in the advertisement, and we're all set.

I've used my tie on occasion. Got it for Christmas, then used it to turn the tree into toothpicks, cook the turkey, and tow out a car that went off the road. Should handle a Moai.

1917_laser_guided_tactical_necktie.jpg

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